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 Warmth

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Furr
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PostSubject: Warmth   Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:33 pm

Warning, not too graphic, but there is slight implications of various things that you might find offensive including, but not limited to, Male and Male romance and slight nudity.
______

Where am I…?

Ugghh… am I dead?

No… I still hurt; I can still feel my heart beating… where am I?

It’s dark, pitch black even… I can’t make out any shapes. There are voices, far off, I can’t hear what they’re saying, and I can’t make out who they are… Was I captured…?

That’s it, isn’t it? I lost, and they won, they finally won. Damn…

The scent of moldy water made an attack at my sensitive sense of smell, nausea creeping up my throat. As I shifted a little from my lying position, I could smell blood too.

What happened…? Wolf… THINK, what happened? Wait… where did Wolf come from? My head hurts…

…Everything’s murky, I don’t know have a fucking clue what happened. The shapes are blobs of color… I can’t recognize the color. Fuck!

Waves of pain flowed through my muzzle, and my paw gingerly tapped it, my nose was broken… so how could I still smell? The pain intensified, the nausea suddenly getting stronger, much stronger, and I felt tears well in my eyes.

Coughs shook my frame, one after the other; each making my muzzle hurt more. Finally, the tears began to fall… the scent took another, stronger hit at my muzzle, and I felt my muzzle open reactively as I threw up. The vomit pooled in front of me, slowly coming back until it tinged my muzzle and neck. Too damn weak to move… have to.

I struggled to get up, huge waves of pain rocking me from my half-asleep state. Wait… I saw some light appear in front of me… was it the end?

Suddenly, a dark figure shrouded the light; the shape was in my murky memories. Red… that was the color.

One step forward and the light was less pronounced on his frame, two steps and I could make out his face… and my feelings were mixed.

Then, the door closed, darkness shrouding us. After a moment or two, the room was lit up in pale white light, everything visible.

The room was white; there was padding all around me. After a second or two, his voice filled the room, “Wolf…” Cautious, he thought I’d be reacting badly… didn’t he. That’s fucking hysterical, and it brought a small smile to my face.

My name’s Wolf… that’s a start. His name is… Fox… Fox McCloud. The name made me so angry, but I had never been happier.

“Do you know where you are, Wolf?”

I shook my head, the strength for words not there.

“They put you here for holding… you’re on trial.”

My grin broadened, a dark raspy laugh exciting my lungs. Fox was so god damn cute when he was worried.

I watched Fox anxiously for a few moments, the Fox shuffling his feet towards the corner. I heard a click, and Fox looked ready to talk again. I sat up, leaning against the wall to hold my balance.

“Okay Wolf, there’s three guards outside the door, two to either side of the door, one patrolling the hall. When I leave, I’ll leave the door slightly open. You just have to pull it open, and you’ll be free. The guards are armed with nightsticks, the patrolling one has a tranquilizer gun; I’d kill him first. You’ll have two hours to do this, I’ll be waiting outside. The exit is to the left and you take a right at the second hall. At the end of that hall is a door; halfway down it is a fire alarm. If you pull the alarm, the door will open. The alarm at the end of the hall is encased in glass, so it’s a no-go.”

“And what happens if I don’t make it?” I rasped, my grin doing no less than vanish.

“You’ll most likely die on trial.”

Suddenly, Fox was over top of me, and I felt my cheeks start to burn up. He was pulling my clothes off, and I was left stark ass naked before he pulled bandages from his pocket and began to wrap up my wounds.

I forced myself to imagine complete blackness and trapped myself in there so his touch wouldn’t get to me.

After a few seconds, everything was calm. I let my eyes open, and I only got a split second warning before Fox’s muzzle was pressed against mine, “I want you to know that I love you… in case the worst were to happen to you, Wolf.”

The pain was overwhelming, but the sudden feeling of happiness… of joy… of love swarmed over me all at once. Then, I found me kissing him back, and after a few moments, my air was running out.

Fox pulled away, and I could see the tears in his eyes. Something was resting in my palm now, and I glanced down… a cloaking device.

I was too overwhelmed to do anything, no words could leave my lips, no body language whatsoever, except for my agape mouth.

“I have to go now; they’ll be coming to check the camera. If at all possible, go before they have the chance.”

He left and I heard the metal brushing, but no click of it truly closing. He told the truth… how much was the truth? Does he… really love me?

I pressed the button on the glossy silver disc, suddenly everything started to bend, and twist, shifting colors and shapes. Small circles of white light penetrated my vision, and everything spun for a few seconds, then it was calm, everything was completely and utterly calm.

Everything came back into focus, all the shapes blended into each other, outlines almost completely non-existent.

Fucking feels like I smoked some pot or took acid or some shit like that, tripping my ass off.

My ears pricked, there was far off footsteps, getting closer. Now or never, I stood up, stumbling to catch balance. I walked towards to door, the cloaking device making everything move. I stumbled into the door, a resounding click sounding.

“FUCK!” I shouted as I kicked the door, a large dent left as I felt one of my toes crack. Damn it all.

Maybe there was hope? I took a step back and moved out of the arc the door would open to. The next minute was painstakingly long, but finally, a guard walked in, the door swinging open. It was a grey furred rat, obviously in his 20’s, looking like he was on the top of the mother fucking world.

Disable his ability to scream.

I thrust my claw into his throat, a small gasp of air, but no noise escaping the startled rat.

Stop his ability to run.

I stomped my good foot down on his left ankle, a resounding crack echoing in my head. I felt my tongue loll from my mouth as a grin grew on my face. I was born to kill, and all will die as long as they’re a threat.

Kill him.

My thumbs pushed into his temples, and after a moment or two of the hiss of air escaping his lungs, a small crack resounded as I felt my fingers push through, and I pulled out.

The rat went down, absolutely no sign of life left in his face.

You have three seconds to immobilize both guards outside the door before they check the noise.

I slid through the opening in the door, instantly slamming both of their heads together, the surprised looks on their faces was fucking priceless, I couldn’t have asked for a better reward than watching their lives flash before their god-forsaken eyes.

Oh fuck, the patrol… I could see his shocked gaze resting on the spot I was standing, the fractured light the only chance he had of seeing me.

End his life.

I kicked a nightstick up from one guard, throwing it at the patrol, and I did likewise, throwing myself at him. If he dies, it’ll be by my carriage to hell.

My claws felt perfectly in place as they glided across his neck, blood spattering into my cloaking aura. My slightly ajar mouth allowed drops of blood to fall onto my palate. Life, their lives are so fucking pointless, but they taste so good once they’re dead. So. Fucking. Good.

Move!

I threw myself to the wall as a tranquilizer dart shot past me. They sent reinforcements.

A small cut formed on my neck, blood pooling… fuck, injuries broke the field. They could see me, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

It’ll take him 8 seconds to reload the tranquilizer gun, 5 if he uses it often… run like your fucking life depends on it Wolf.

I darted through the halls, and as soon as my deadline crept up on me, I turned the corner Fox told me to. My only hope now was shock; thank god I didn’t have the time to get dressed again.

My hand glided across the walls, pulling down the fire alarm as I moved on. I felt a wave of pain slam into me as my fingers were dislocated by the motion.

The door was wide open, no one between me and the exit. Home free, home free, I was gonna make it. Don’t look-

Suddenly a burning wave of pain impaled my side, a red beam glinting until it vanished into the wall. Keep going Wolf, you’re almost there.

Another shot, and the pain sent tears to my eye as my shoulder was seared.

The door was just two steps away, I could make it, I just had to shut it, I just had to block the fire from getting me.

As I turned to get through the gap in the door, the last shot landed in the back of my thigh, the worst pain imaginable striking me all at once. I closed the door, collapsing outside. I could see Fox running towards me.

Everything was distorted, shifting shapes, shifting colors… fading. Black.

Inky, relentless black.

--

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Pure white. Feathers of a dove white, purity of love white…

--

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--

--

Fox’s voice was so far… I was dying wasn’t I? He was screaming for me to come back, and I fucking wanted to go back, I wanted to.

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

Beep.

--

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

I could feel the gentle thrum of my heartbeat pressing endlessly into my ears, I felt like I had been hit upside the fucking head with a crowbar.

Wait… I felt pain, was I alive? I felt wet too, did he cry on me?

He pulled me back, he saved me; Fox McCloud saved my life.

There was wait pressing down on me… was I drugged?

No… that’s Fox, I can see his fuzzy frame through the little slit between my eyelids.

I opened my eyes fully, taking in the scene. There was a quilt pulled about halfway up my body, to my waist, and Fox was literally lying on top of me. The quilt brushed my sheath, so I could only assume I was still naked.

I could tell time had passed… how much? Days… months… years? Fox looked mature, he looked… heartbroken. I broke his heart? Did I almost die… did I die? Maybe… maybe I was in a coma, and he’s been my guardian angel, keeping me on this earth. He looked like one.

I was in the infirmary of the Great Fox; that much was obvious, I’d been there before, and no place was quite like it.

I let a small whimper escape me, and I tried to talk, my voice coming out as a combination of grunts and growls. “Rr ‘uv u,” I managed to get out, mangled as fuck, I could tell he’d recognize it.

He looked up a little, a small smile on his muzzle.

My bare chest was visible, Fox’s head on my stomach, his entire body over top of mine.

He was warm…

___________
Review so I can hold you against it later on! XD, just kidding.
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WasNotWhyNot

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PostSubject: Re: Warmth   Fri Jan 22, 2010 4:52 pm

I should've stopped reading when I read "Male and Male romance" but I actually stopped reading after "The shapes are blobs of color".

first, ellipses should only be used in dialogue. they shouldn't be used in every freaking sentence you write! there are magical things called commas, colons, and semi-colons.

I'd scan and critique the rest but I think I just vomited after fox kissed wolf. just seriously, what the hell.

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Grec

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PostSubject: Re: Warmth   Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:58 pm

It's good. Don't use ellipses so much like Nack said. And of course it's not for everybody.
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PostSubject: Re: Warmth   Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:06 pm

I know I need to tone down ellipses, but this is strong first person (stream of consciousness), so all of the thoughts are set up as though it were Wolf thinking them. I need to figure out some spots where I could use a semi-colon or an em-dash for those.
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PostSubject: Re: Warmth   Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:20 am

I mean...

once you start writing like this... it's hard to stop...

mostly because it's habitual.

ellipses overuse is a big red amateur flag.

like... whevever... my sister writes... stuff... it's like... this...

I mean, your story never got that bad, but you can see my point.

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